I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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