I CAN MOONWALK!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
