you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
