It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
