What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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