You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
