on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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