Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
