it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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