i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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