I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
