I wish I could punch you in the face.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I understand Curling. That high.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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