I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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