# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
