Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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