I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
