i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
