If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
