bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
