so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
