Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Two words: nipple clamps
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