you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
