google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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