I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
