I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
