Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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