Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
