Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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