are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
