There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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