he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish i was in the wii world.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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