I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
