Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
