I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
