I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
