her vagina looked like bernie madoff
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
