i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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