Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
