Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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