So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
