Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
