when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I smell stomach acid.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
