Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
