Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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