Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
