I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
