At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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