I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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