i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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