he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
