I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
